The End of My Life Is Killing Me: The Unexpected Joys of a Cancer Slacker

A book of small rescues against despair.

In this deftly comedic and deeply contemplative memoir, the New York Times bestselling author faces life’s biggest curveball only to find resilience in the most unlikely places.

After Annabelle Gurwitch received an out-of-the blue diagnosis of Stage 4 lung cancer, an existential dread set in. Precision medicine offered a temporary reprieve—but instead of turning into a cancer warrior, Annabelle declared herself a cancer slacker. Her motto: no runs, no ribbons, no religion.

Told with her signature wit, warmth, and gimlet eye, Gurwitch draws inspiration from Greek mythology and TV comedies, Kermit the Frog and Samuel Beckett. She accidentally acquires an angel, embraces being in it “just for the sex,” and finds herself on a European van tour selling merch for a heavy metal band.

In this hilariously and deeply affecting meditation on mortality, the actress and activist illuminates life with chronic disease, inequities in care, and celebrates tiny victories, the crusty ends of baguettes, the discreet pleasure of sucking at a hobby, and the unshakable bond of female friendship. She upends the notion of living each day as if it were your last, as she discovers you can carpe too much diem, embracing, instead, the extraordinariness of the ordinary.